A Common yet Dangerous Leadership Myth

Martha has a deep drive to excel at work, unknowingly motivated by a leadership myth.  She is a mid-management leader and has a goal to be promoted.  She is great at multitasking and keeping many plates spinning.  People praise her for her results.  However, Martha lives under constant anxiety.  Even though others praise her, on the inside she tends to be self-critical. With all this pressure within her, she can then say things that come out as critical and demanding of others.  Other times, she holds it inside and puts on a smile.  However, the pressure within her only builds.

Can you relate to Martha?  As I work with leaders, I often see them struggling with similar issues to Martha.  They truly want to do their best for the organization.  But, personally they feel drained and alone.  Some of them are considered star performers, but deep down they feel the stress taking its toll on them.  Others may channel it into results, but then end up with relationship problems with others as they speak critically or blame others.  Another person I know is struggling to get results because he constantly looks outside of himself to others for direction to make a decision.

When we face a problem, it is most easy to focus on the symptoms instead of a root issue, such as a leadership myth.  For example, a leader may be dealing with symptoms of stress.  Instead of addressing the issue causing the stress, he may just address the symptoms of the stress, such as trying to exercise or eat better.  Or, maybe he feels that the stress is hurting his relationships at work, so he will just learn more effective communication skills.  Now, there is nothing wrong with improving communication, exercising or eating healthy.  However, if we don’t address the root issue, the deeper problem will still take its toll, and will eventually trip us up.

I recently attended a seminar by Israel Galindo.  He stated that one of the most common leadership myths that leaders is the Myth of Competence.  As he spoke about this, I realized that this is a root issue for many leaders, like Martha mentioned above.  The foundation is an attitude or belief that one’s value and worth is based upon external assurances that one is competent in everything he or she does.  Therefore the leader lives in constant anxiety looking for reassurances that they are doing well.

On the outside, they look good because they please everyone.  However, the reality is that their own issues will eventually hurt the organization and themselves.   Why? – Because of where their deeper focus lies.  When you are motivated by a need to be seen as competent, you will make decisions based on fulfilling that need instead of decisions being motivated by excellence.

An example could be making a decision that will get good immediate results, but not achieve the longer term vision or mission of the organization.  A business leader may keep a staff person who is not living the organization’s values because of fear of what other staff will think.  A not-for-profit leader may accept grant money for a new program that really does not fit their mission, but they do it because the increase in grant money will reassure them that they are being successful at fundraising.

I found this chart that contrasts competence versus excellence by Israel Galindo helpful.

Competence Excellence
Locus: External Locus: Internal
Characterized by anxiety Characterized by enthusiasm
Feeds on deficits and insecurity Energized by challenge
Informed by external standards Informed by internal values
Responsible to others Responsible to self
Motivated by expectations Motivated by impetus and drive
Global and vague Selective and specific

 

Are you falling prey to the leadership myth?  I encourage you to reflect and ask yourself which side of the chart are you on?  Now think about some past decisions you have made.  What was motivating you?  Where would others say you fit on this chart?  It can sometimes be very difficult to assess our own internal motivations.  Being open and seeking honest feedback is very helpful.  You first have to be open to searching within and then have a friend who is willing to ask the hard questions.  But, the pay-off for yourself and the organization is well worth it.

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