I hope you have benefited from this series focused on developing your leadership through personal transformation. As I was reflecting on the process of transformation, an allegory, a story of the transformation process, came to my mind. I have been exploring creative ways to express ideas, and I decided to share this story with you.
So the article below is a much different format than my other articles. It is longer but this was part of creating a visual word picture of this process.
So, sit back and enjoy the story. Please let me know your thoughts and reflections on it. Did you find it helpful or not? Did it provide insights or encouragements?
Blessings,
Jami
The story…
It all started on a family trip to the mountains. The young girl had lived on the plains. She was used to looking out as far as she could see but something always blocked her view. There would be a tree, a building or a person standing in the way. Even when she could see to the point where the land would touch the sky, it seemed that the horizon blocked her view. She wanted to see something more.
So as she sat in the car looking out the window, driving through the valley and mountain passes, she was taken aback by the view of massive rocks that laid the foundation to the mountains. This was a different kind of object that blocked her view. She looked up and could see where the sharp pinnacles touched the sky. It was like they were pointing upward to a place of limitless possibilities. In her heart that is where she knew she wanted to go. If she could stand up there, she could see forever.
So from that heart’s desire, she set in her mind to make it to that top one day. She was determined. As she spoke of this desire to others, unfortunately, their responses were not always helpful. They questioned why she would want to do such a thing. Wouldn’t this be dangerous? Was she really capable of such a thing? They pointed out that she was small and must not be strong enough. Is this how a proper little girl should act? A good person is to serve others and make others comfortable. Where would she find the resources, they asked?
The questions and doubts by others caused the girl to doubt herself. Was she being realistic? Was she thinking too much of herself? Was this not who she really was? Was she being bad and not a good person? However, the desire in her heart was strong. She must show a way to prove herself. Surely, there was a way to be what was in her heart and still be a good person. Maybe she was only a small person. But what if she proved herself by showing others that she is competent and able to succeed?
So, the young girl built a high and strong wall around her heart. She kept the desire safe within the walls. She knew she could do it. She could make it happen and still be a good person. So, she set out to make herself strong, while also trying to please other people. She tried to excel mentally and physically in ways that would prepare her for her mountain adventure and yet where others praised her. Yet, all of these efforts were exhausting.
Keeping up the walls around her heart took a lot of energy. Sometimes she felt depressed. Was it worth all of the work? Sometimes, she felt like a victim. She felt like she was trapped in these circumstances set up by others and her only option was to prove herself. Sometimes she felt angry. It was all too much. But she knew a good person holds the anger inside. Just use the anger to make the walls stronger. But, sometimes the anger would slip out on those who were closest and safest to her. This was not fair to them. And deep down there was fear. Fear was her motivation. Fear kept the walls up to keep her safe. Fear kept her proving her competence to others which made them happy.
Finally, the girl, who is now a woman, thought she was ready to begin her adventure up the mountain. As she started the ascent, she looked forward to seeing clearer views around her. However, it was like there was a deep fog and mist that blocked her view. So, she kept climbing using her best training to get her farther up. If she did the right things and was strong, surely she would get above the mist and could see. Isn’t this what everyone taught her and for which they praised her? She just had to keep going and doing more.
But then a small voice within her called out to her. At first, she felt she did not have time to listen to this voice. She had a plan and too much to do. If she stopped to listen, this might cause her to lose ground. She could fail. Fear surrounded her. So, she kept going, but the mist was thick. But she was strong. She knew she could do it. She was sufficient.
But the small voice inside of her was also persistent and yet gentle. It remained there waiting patiently. This voice was different from the other voices the woman had experienced in her life. It didn’t try to control or manipulate her. It gave her total freedom in her choice. But, it never left her. It remained and waited.
The woman came to a cool mountain stream. It was so inviting. It began to capture her heart. The stream was so beautiful. It reminded her of what sparked her to even begin this journey. She remembered the beauty and the majesty of the mountains and the awe that filled her being with breath as a child. The walls she had built around her heart could not keep this beauty out. It was like a wind that could go up and over the walls. As she touched the water and brought a drip to her mouth, it was like the wind carried the water over the walls and the water soon trickled along cracks in the wall.
Then her mind reminded her that she had to keep going. She had no time to stop. In fact, wasn’t stopping dangerous? She had to keep to the plan and on track. But, she couldn’t pull herself away to leave sight of the stream. It was so beautiful. It renewed her. So she climbed upward beside it.
The small voice kept calling to her. In fact, the more she looked at the stream, the more the voice became stronger to her. Unlike the other voices with her that kept fixing to make the wall strong, this voice could touch her heart. This voice was different. It was not pushy, harsh or condemning like the other voices. She liked that, but also felt tentative about it. When she thought about the small voice, sometimes the voice of fear would quickly speak up.
You see, the small voice also did not always make logical sense. The woman was used to the voices of shame and condemnation. These voices made sense. They kept her in check, and they also helped her get good results. Hadn’t she been successful in pursuing her desire while also being successful and gaining others’ praise? She looked good. Isn’t looking good what she is supposed to do? Was she not praised by many upstanding, reputable people?
But this small voice instead whispered love. But the woman defended herself. I am loved. Looked at all I have done and am doing. Look at how I continue to climb. I am loved by many. But the small voice’s love was again different. It touched her heart. It had no strings attached. It floated in freedom like the wind and beckoned her to join it. It touched her with hope. But, freedom does not make sense, reasoned the woman.
But the small voice again called, but this time, it asked something incredulous. This went against all of her training. The voice said to be still and rest. Now, this can’t be right. To sit and rest, especially on a mountain ascent is death. I must keep going thought the woman. Supplies will run out and my strength will decrease. I must keep going.
This did not offend the small voice. It did not go away. It remained patiently. But the woman’s heart had been touched by its love. She could still see the beauty of the stream even in the mist. She could still feel the soft warm breeze that lay in contrast to the cold mist. For the first time, in a long time, she turned inward to the desire in her heart. Instead of remaining outside the wall doing, she turned to that desire in her heart. She remembered with a glimpse.
The woman wanted to get back and fully embrace her desire, but she did not know how. Fear told her to stop thinking about that and to keep moving with the known plan. But, she chose instead to have hope and ask the small voice how to get to her desire. What the small voice would say next would be unknown, even overwhelming, but she chose to be expectant.
The voice told her to lie down in the stream, be still and rest. Everything within the girl screamed that this made no sense at all! In fact, it was crazy, dangerous and could lead to death. This is not how climbing mountains is done. But, when the woman turned to her heart, she felt at peace. This would take faith. Did she trust the small voice? Did she trust this different kind freedom?
She looked deeply into the beauty of the stream. She remembered the awe of the mountains. She felt the warmth of the wind, and she stepped into the stream. As she stepped into the water, she felt warmth all over. She felt at rest. A rest so deep, she had never felt before. Without even knowing how, she was lying in the water. She felt a deep peace. She felt calm, content, confident, courageous and complete.
She connected to the desire in her heart as the water ran through the cracks in the walls that gave way to gaping holes and caused the wall to turn into sand that washed away with the water. The small voice called to her to open her eyes. And as she did, beauty, awe and majesty over-swept her. She could see!
The might of the strong mountain, instead of being a barrier to strive and prove herself, was holding her. She was protected by it, yet could see from it. She was safe and empowered. The stream provided her with provision. Her strength was not disappearing as she had thought it would. Instead, she felt renewed with more strength, like she could soar. Within the wind was the voice of wisdom. She was surprised by what had seemed like a huge risk. What did not make sense at the time, now proved to be the answer she needed. She needed to learn to trust this voice of wisdom for the continued journey.
But, most of all, she knew she had reconnected to that heart desire that she first met as a child. She could see forever. Yes, she could see forever.