“It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.” – Winston Churchill
Every day can seem to have a long list of expectations towards our productivity. Just look at your “to-do” list! Work colleagues, clients, customers and family members all seem to have expectations for us. Often we look at the day ahead, grit our teeth and plow ahead. But instead, I want to ask you to stop, and take a deep breath. What are you feeling?
Are you feeling resistance? How we respond to this resistance will have a big impact on our productivity and well-being. When there is resistance and we ignore it, we respond ineffectively. It may get us through the day, but hurt us in the long run. Here are some tips for being effective in the midst of high expectations.
Two Obstacles to Productivity
When we feel under the pressure of expectations, we can feel controlled by other people and circumstances. A common reaction to feeling controlled is anxiety or anger. Each of these can lead us down a troublesome path, often without being conscious of it.
Anxiety is a warning sign that you are living in fear. This may be a fear of not living up to someone’s expectation, of not fulfilling a responsibility, of not achieving a desired result… It is a fear of failure to meet society’s, a person’s, or even your own expectation. In response to feeling controlled by this expectation, we often respond by trying to control. Leaders often react by over-working and over-using their strengths. For example, people with a talent in strategy will try to over plan. Their thoughts can become consumed with looking at every angle, and they plan too much. They are wasting time, working long hours, and could burn themselves out.
Another reaction is anger. Have you ever seen an animal locked in a cage against its will? My daughter has ducks that sometimes have to be locked into their coop during the winter for their own protection. When I asked my daughter how her ducks were doing, she responded, “They are angry.”
Sometimes our view of expectations or even a “to-do” list can make us feel like we are locked in a cage. We may be doing things out of guilt or duty. When we feel controlled by others or even circumstances, a response of anger can come out in damaging ways. We may yell or scream, cut ourselves off relationally from others, or become passive-aggressive. None of these reactions help us to be productive and in the long run burn relational bridges, which are so important for successful leadership.
A Solution for Productivity
The first step towards a solution may seem simple, but it is actually a huge step forward. You need to acknowledge the resistance. Often resistance can pop up throughout our day, but we ignore it and fall into old habits. Instead stop and recognize that you are feeling resistance.
The second step is to be curious, and ask, “What or who am I resisting?” Don’t force an answer. Take a deep breath and wait. You may receive clarity of a thought or a feeling. Each day can have problems and negative situations. But if we take time to step back from them, we can begin to see them in another light. Instead of feeling controlled, we start to see where we have power or choice. We can come to a place of acceptance of what is.
This brings us to the third step. Instead of resisting it and reacting negatively, we can respond proactively from a place of acceptance. This does not mean that we ignore the issue or not challenge it. But we are able to see it as separate from us emotionally. We move forward from a more grounded and centered place. You can recognize the feeling, express it, and ask for what you need.
Where are you feeling resistance today? Sometimes just acknowledging the resistance, brings us to a point of clarity. Do you need to look at the expectations that you feel from a new perspective? How can you begin to be more proactive instead of reactive with your productivity?