“To have humility is to experience reality.”
– Dag Hammarskjold, Swedish diplomat
Do you feel a heavy pressure on yourself to have everything around you under control? Often, leaders can feel this way because others look to them for answers. The word lead is defined as “a route or means of access to a particular place or a particular direction.” Others look to leaders to provide the direction to a result. When we feel that so many are counting on us, we can feel pressure not to make a mistake. We must have everything under control.
But here in lies a paradox. We think that a leader then needs to know all, be the strongest, and … have everything under control. But the reality is that those who lead well know that they don’t know everything, accept their weakness, and clearly see what is not under their control. This is humility.
Why Have Humility?
A book that is on TIME Magazine’s list of most influential management books is Good to Great by Jim Collins. This book is based on research into what made good companies move to the point of greatness. One of the factors identified was a term he called “Level 5 Leadership.” He notes these key points:
- “Every good-to-great company had Level 5 leadership during pivotal transition years.”
- “Level 5 leaders embody a paradoxical mix of personal humility and professional will. They are ambitious, to be sure, but ambitious first and foremost for the company, not themselves.”
Right now, I observe that we all live in an era of pivotal transition years. There are times when we all go through transitions and seasons as humans and as organizations. But currently, I see us in an era with these transitions. With this, I see leaders feeling even more pressure to have everything under control. The anxiety of society, organizations, and just people around us has risen; with this, leaders feel greater pressure.
If you want to get results, the answer is not to strive harder and then go on to burnout. The answer lies in the paradox: humility.
What is Humility?
The definition of humble is “having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance.” Notice that this definition is not saying that it is having a low estimate of who you are. It says a low estimate of one’s importance. You can still be humble and know your personal value and strengths. Humility is not seeing yourself as more than your reality. It is a balance of knowing who you are while also embracing your limitations. It is authenticity.
I have a vivid memory of a moment in my life when I was faced with this reality. It was during my first internship. I was lamenting to my supervisor all the things I should have done differently in a meeting. It is good to reflect and learn from our mistakes. But that supervisor had a deeper insight into my mindset that changed me. His response to my lament was, “Jami, do you think you are God?”
And, yes, he relayed that statement to me bluntly but with compassion, and it hit like an arrow within me. I thought I had to have everything under control to do it perfectly and without any limitations. Another author that I esteem, Richard Rohr, says, “I was humbled in the presence of my reality.”
How to Be Humble
Humility is a mindset. Here are some practical steps to apply:
- Awareness: What are your strengths and your limitations? Know yourself. How are you wired on both the bright and shadow sides? Don’t take a perspective of hiding your limitations. Instead, embrace all of who you are, and you will find a new level of freedom.
- Authenticity: Be transparent about who you are. Share your strengths, but also admit your limitations. Be vulnerable, apologize as needed, and share your mistakes. Share what you can and can’t do. Then, extend the same grace to others. Ask others to join you, and therein will lie your power.
Summary
I was watching a sporting event, and it reminded me of how we love underdogs. We love the story of those who were once overlooked now being triumphant. In fact, we will often refer to these stories as “David and Goliath.”
The interesting thing about David is that he embraced who he was, both strengths and limitations. When he saw Goliath, he recognized the reality and his limitations. But, with that clarity of orientation, he was able to see a new perspective. He didn’t have to go into battle with the same armor and swords as others. He used what he did have control over – his strength with the use of a slingshot.
He also didn’t see himself as more important than he was. He recognized that his strength came as a grace from something greater than himself. When that pressure comes up within you to have everything under control, choose to stop the rise of anxiety. Be a non-anxious presence in the pressure of anxiety around you. Slow down, be humble in the presence of your reality, embrace your limitations, see the next step, and step into that opportunity. In this paradox will lie your power.