“The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them.”
– Unknown
Do you ever feel that conflict and miscommunication are holding your organization or team back from reaching your mission? When we face problems, we want to try to resolve them as quickly as possible. However, this can lead to surface solutions, and we wonder why we are still stuck. Therefore, we tend to repeat the same actions without achieving any positive outcomes, which is essentially living out the definition of insanity.
This is because conflicts and miscommunications are often complex and cannot be easily fixed with a linear formula. We have to step back, gain a better “balcony” perspective, and search for the root to find the best way forward.
Below are four arching categories to explore when seeing conflict and miscommunication. In this article, we will cover the first two categories.
I will walk you through it as we look at a “case study” of a leader navigating this with her team. Here is the background to this leader’s story:
A leader explained her frustration with her team not taking ownership of projects. She felt burned out by the weight of constantly pushing the team forward. Some team members would argue with her, others were ambivalent, and none were moving forward. She felt the conflict around her, sometimes with the team against each other, and at different times, the team forming small groups to connect, but only to complain. It felt like pushing a boulder up a hill.
Can you relate to any of these aspects of leading a team? Here are some themes to explore:
1. Goal: Are you all clear on what the ultimate goal is?
Some leaders have a clear goal in their mind, but then, because it is clear to them, they don’t think about whether it is clear to the team. This is called mind-reading. A leader needs to make sure that expectations are clear. This leader realized that this was an obstacle for her team. She was struggling to explain her big-picture plan to the team. One way she addressed it was by creating a visual representation of the goal and plan.
Other leaders have an idea of where they want to go, but it is not fully clear in their minds. So, then they think that if they give a vague directive, the team will figure it out. This leads to confusion for the team. Either clearly define the goal in your mind, or if you need the team’s support in hashing out the details, set aside time to engage them in a strategy session. Also, ensure you are clear with the team about the type of session you are in, whether it is a strategy session or an idea-generating session.
One leader I recently spoke to had the ‘aha’ that she also needed to include the ‘why’ behind her goals when sharing them with her team. This helped her and the team stay on track with the goal and avoid losing it when sidetracked by another urgent issue. It helped the team define this goal as the priority and to keep it moving forward.
- Have you clearly defined the team’s goal?
- If there is a conflict, have you circled back for feedback to ensure the team understands your goal? Are there any gaps?
2. Role: Are you clear on the team members’ role in the goal?
This leader also learned about the importance of understanding their role and the part they play in clear communication through a mentoring relationship with a younger leader. The mentee lamented to her about how his supervisor told him that he had done the wrong work on a project. The mentee discussed feeling frustrated, that his time had been wasted, and that he was discouraged.
The supervisor failed to share the goal (point #1) clearly and did not provide clear expectations. After setting the goal, we also need to ensure that team members are clear on their role and the expectations for achieving it.
This also needs to be seen as an ongoing conversation. Perhaps the supervisor thought he had given clarity, but it did not translate well to his team member. This is where we, as leaders, need to engage the team to gather feedback on why they took the direction in their work.
As the mentor discussed the situation, this young leader had a clear understanding of the reason behind the work he performed. This young leader needed encouragement to become confident in sharing his knowledge of his role and the reasons behind his work. By engaging in dialogue, the supervisor can better explain the goal, and perhaps new insights can be gained on how to achieve it by the team member sharing their ideas or receiving clearer direction.
- Are each of your team members clear on their roles and how their role connects to the goal?
- If poor outcomes are happening, are you exploring with the team to uncover where the misalignment is happening?
- Do people need to change roles? Or, is there a new way to accomplish a role that still achieves the goal?
Summary:
Conflict and miscommunication can have a root cause that we may need to work to uncover. The categories of Goals and Roles provide a conceptual framework for leaders to step back and view the team from a broader perspective that extends beyond the immediate pain point of the conflict. Is there something more going on that needs to be addressed? And, it could have an opportunity to make the team better too!
In next month’s article, we will continue our exploration of this leader navigating the following two categories: Rules and Relationships.
What in the article resonated with you, whether a story, an application, or a question? What is one action step you will take?