“In the soul there lives a longing for light and an indispensable urge to emerge from the… darkness.”
– Carl Jung
I had my plan for the week ahead. My meetings were scheduled, and I had my task list with my priorities. One of my task items was to write the article for my leadership newsletter. I knew my deadline for getting it done was looming closer. However, preparation for another work project was a higher priority. Can you relate to the juggle of competing deadlines and priorities?
I also knew that writing my article could not just be fit in between meetings like simple administrative tasks. This kind of work required thinking and reflection, deep work, and I needed a chunk of time to work on it. I had a specific space on my calendar where I knew I could fit it in, so I blocked off the time.
However, when I arrived at the reserved time on my calendar, I felt empty and had no energy to write. I had a topic in mind. However, I lacked the inspiration to flesh the topic out into a complete article. At that moment, I knew I was at a crossroads. Would I push myself to get it done, or did I need to stop and pay attention to what was going on deeper within me? Which route was the best choice to take?
Slowing Down to Pay Attention
There is a point in my past where I would have just powered through it to complete the article. There would be no slowing down. I just needed to get it done! I would push to finish and then feel the dopamine hit of reward in my brain from completing a task, and now being permitted to relax.
But I have found that that kind of drivenness has taken a toll on my well-being. I remember a distinct period in my life where it produced a constant anxiety that kept me producing a lot and even getting accolades. Still, I found myself mostly living on a treadmill, climbing a mountain, and the mountain peaks of joy and relief were more fleeting. I even started noticing a pattern of getting sick right after completing a big project. My body had been running on adrenaline, and then became susceptible to any virus because of physical depletion.
I realized that wasn’t how I wanted to live, and I decided to make changes in my life. But pure behavior modification was not enough. I could set boundaries on my time, such as working only a certain number of hours a day or taking regular vacations. These are external boundaries, which are beneficial, but they did not address the root cause. It is like going bowling with bumper pads. The bumper pads will keep the bowling ball in the lane to hit some pins. However, this will never bring out the true potential of the person bowling without addressing the deeper skill sets of the bowler.
From Behavior Modification to the Root
So, I committed to going to the root. I took time to learn to listen to my emotions as indicators and discover what my actual thoughts, like voices directing me, were saying to me. Additionally, I pay attention to my body and energy levels. I have learned that this is not a one-and-done fix. It must be understood as a way of life. It takes an ongoing intention to be self-aware and then authentic to my deeper self.
So, that day this week, as I began working on my article, I realized I was at a moment of self-awareness. Was I going to take the time to listen more deeply within, or fall into striving mode? It is the little decisions I make each day that determine whether I will stay on track or get off. It is similar to having a destination in your GPS. If you deviate by even one degree as you travel, you will eventually be way off course. It is always better to stay on track or course correct as soon as possible. (Because we will all get off track at times.)
Self-Awareness to Authenticity
So, I listened to my body where I was feeling the low energy and tiredness. I listened to my emotions that I labeled as anxiety. I quieted the thoughts that were saying, “I just need to get it done. I am falling behind. I am failing.” And with that, I had greater clarity that my creativity was low and I could produce out of fear, but not my best work. I gained clarity on another spot in my schedule this week where I could make time to write, and it would be at a better time in the day that aligns with my biorhythms for creativity.
So, I made a choice not to push myself. I was able to clarify within myself that this was not a lack of perseverance or avoidance. It was still a choice to do my work well and also to bring my best self to my work. As I write this article today, I am flowing more smoothly in my work.
And, yes, there are times when we do have to persevere and just do it. There are times of crisis and urgency. There are also times when the root could be avoidance or distraction, so it’s not a good reason to stop working or pivot. However, by taking the time to learn to slow down, cultivating self-awareness to identify and listen to the root, and then being in the space of clarity to be intentional about the actual reality of the situation and what is most important, we are then able to take the best action. This is also being true to your authentic self, which is flowing in your best self.
Summary
Living in your authentic self is one of the most precious gifts you can give to yourself and to others! I have found this to be especially true in my work with leaders whose actions significantly impact a culture and the multitude of people around them. And to also prevent the burnout that is on the rise with leaders. Has any of this article spoken to you? Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me with any questions you may have or for support.
What is one action step that you will take?