“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.” – Anna Freud
Transformation is a process. Our personal vision and outcomes give us a focus in which to move. Once we have clarity on our purpose and the change we are pursuing, we can feel a sense of relief, exhilaration and affirmation. Just yesterday, I experienced that with a client as the clarity to her personal vision became clear and the next steps to pursue seemed to flow out of her.
But, I also know that as we pursue this journey, discouragement can come along. I have felt this. I can look at my personal vision and have a doubt if it is truly me. I can look at my outcomes and question if I have it right. Am I moving in the best direction?
I have found that most of the obstacles to us reaching our full potential in transformation lie within us, not on the outside of us. Doubts about our identity can rise like waves and if we are not careful, they can become a tidal wave. These doubts can vary, but can sound like: “I can’t do this. I will only fail. I am not that valuable.” Where do these doubts come from?
Your personal vision is connected to your identity. When you were young, things that were said to you and how you were treated will impact how you view your identity. If you were told that you are a failure, it can ingrain habits of thoughts that you are a failure. These thoughts can continue to play deep in your mind even as an adult. If you were treated like you were a nuisance or a bother (even unknowingly) by your parents or model figures, your identity can become that you are a bother and of low worth.
These false beliefs and lies about our identity can hold us back from transformation to our true potential. What we need are affirmation and truth to encourage us along our journey. We can see this truth in a popular children’s book, The Little Engine that Could. When the engine, faced a big obstacle of going up a hill, he could have thought any number of negative thoughts, such as: “I am so small. I am just a bother. I am not important.” But that is not what he said, instead he says, “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.”
We can see another example of an affirmation from the Bible in the life of Jesus. God said to Jesus, “You are the Son I love. I am well pleased with you.” (Matt. 3:17). Jesus received this affirmation that was then a release into his identity. So what are the truths about yourself that you can claim as an affirmation? Are there words from your past that someone spoke to you that you can claim as an affirmation? Are there truths about yourself that you believe based on a belief system that you can claim? Can you follow the example of the little engine that could, and even if others around you have been negative, you still know you will succeed?
I have a client who attributes their success so far in reaching their outcomes to continuously reading their affirmations. As a leader, he felt a great weight to make things happen. He wrote personal affirmations for himself that gave him clarity and truth to this issue in his life. He stated that as he reflects on these statements, they go from his head to the heart. Instead of being anxious trying to make things happen, he is more at rest. He has been much more at peace during his day and even sleeping better.
Affirmations are “I statements” that you write that close the gap between who you see yourself now with who you are becoming. Examples of affirmations are: “I am valuable. I am a person of understanding. I bless others with my creativity. I keep my commitments. I am a patient parent.” They are words of encouragement that affirm your vision statement and your outcomes.