I woke up with my mind bouncing with thoughts regarding activities and decisions. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep. I knew that I needed my sleep, but my body was restless. Even as I went back into sleep, it was not deep and my mind went back into battle with thoughts. My alarm finally went off. I got up and charged into my day. Hopefully if I got things done, I would feel better. Being busy was my way to cope with the feelings deep within me.
Have you ever felt like what I described above? My pattern when I feel like this is to add more activities to my schedule. I try to out run the feelings, end my day in exhaustion and hoping that it will make it all go away. But in reality I am only digging a deeper hole where the feelings continue to add up.
I am growing to learn that when I feel like this, I need to stop and listen to my feelings. In facing those feelings, not only do they get released for true relief, but I also live with more clarity, productivity, and joy. To lead ourselves well and to be a better leader for others, it is a must. So how do we do this?
Lead yourself to stop
The first step seems the most simple but it is the most difficult (at least for me it is!). You must not run to the next activity. You must choose to stop and go to a quiet place. Do you have a quiet place free of distractions? Do you have a room in your home where you can close the door to the outside world? Do you have a place in your office where the computer does not stare at you? Or can you just sit by yourself in your car? Make a choice, go to quiet place, and STOP.
Lead Yourself to Listen to the Emotions
Take a deep breath. Don’t focus on the thoughts of things to do. Instead what are your feelings saying? What is that feeling deep in your heart? Can you viscerally feel it? Get out a notebook and pen and write it down. Name the feelings. Then ask what are they saying? For example, if the feeling is anger, where is that coming from? Do I feel hurt or frustrated by something?
Lead Yourself to Ask, “Now what?”
Once you identify the emotions, you may start to feel some relief. But, now you need to ask yourself, “Where are these emotions trying to point me to right action?” What really is the truth of the situation and then choose to pursue it.
The other day, I was on a treadmill with anxiety. As I stopped to listen, I realized that I was living in fear of failure and letting others down. For me I heard the truth of “Be still and know that I am God.” Again I was reminded that I am not in control and to rest in God who is control. With that came clarity to see the opportunities in my day, instead of the fear of what could go wrong. I moved in peace with others instead of frustration, which led to more fruitful results.
So, remember to stop, listen and ask, when the warning signals of emotions are trying to get your attention. And then learn from this lesson and become proactive. The next step is then to set aside time daily to stop, listen and ask. Even when the feelings are not roaring for our attention, they still want to talk to us. Try it, and see how much better life can be and how much better you lead.