In my last series of articles, there has been a theme of developing presence of being an at-rest transformational leader. Below is a list of elements that contribute to developing presence.
Know Who You Are
You cannot develop presence of transformational leadership until you know who you are. Otherwise you get distracted trying to be what other people want you to be. You are living out of anxiety trying to be a false self to meet others’ expectations. Presence comes out of being at peace with who you are.
What are your strengths? What is your purpose? What makes you unique as a person? What is your identity?
Practice Quiet, Reflective Time
When I become overloaded with activities, my energy eventually runs low, and I become depleted. When I am depleted, I tend to look for quick solutions (which may not be the best solutions) and I also withdraw from communicating (which can lead to relationship problems). I am not at rest and present within myself.
Having quiet, reflective time renews my focus and energy. It helps me to come up with the best solutions and to communicate well.
Practice Awareness
I had a busy summer planned to make the most of time with my kids out of school. I jammed my schedule full to balance work and time with my children. However, one evening my husband pointed out how for the last week I was not talking with my kids when they went to bed. He stated that my daughters were commenting on why Mom wasn’t talking with them. A red light went off in my head. I was depleted and wasn’t being aware of it.
The solution I am finding is that I need a balance of quiet, reflective time along with activity time. When I fuel up on reflective time, it pays dividends on me having presence in the midst of activities. However, just like gas in the car, I need to refuel.
Find Your Rhythm
Listen to yourself and schedule times to be reflective as a part of your routine. Don’t wait until your fuel is all gone. Also be aware of seasons. You may have to change your routine to meet the season you are in. For example, this summer I found myself needing to set reflective time more on the weekends, where during the rest of the year it fits into my week days.
Find a Processing Partner
There is much that we gain in developing presence by listening to ourselves during a quiet time. However, our growth can be synergized by having a partner to encourage us in this journey. I have a friend that I meet with once a month to discuss our growth in this area. She will ask questions that help me go deeper into staying present. I also learn from hearing how she is growing.
Also, give people in your daily life permission to point out when you “seem off.” Just like my husband did in my example above with my kids. This is valuable feedback that we should be thankful for instead of a criticism. If it helps me be better in my relationships, I will be much more effective in life, work and home.
How do you develop and maintain presence of transformational leadership in your own life? Do any points from this article resonate with you?