“But we have this treasure in jars of clay…” – II Corinthians 4:7
I had my kitchen cabinet door open as I scanned across various cups. I have a collection of cups that come in all shapes, sizes, and decorative patterns. Some are fine china and others are ceramic or plastic. Some have holiday decorations and others have marketing logos. Do you have a collection of cups like I do?
Even though the cups are all unique, each has a story attached to it. I have tea cups from each of my grandmother’s collections. As I look at each tea cup, I can see how that cup fits each of their personalities. If those cups could speak they would have stories to tell. I can also see how each cup represents how they interacted in relationship with me. I also have a coffee mug that was given to me by a client that says, “Do what you love; Love what you do.” The cups remind me of the stories in my own life, and how I have interacted with others.
As people, each of us is like those cups. We come in different shapes and sizes, but we each have a treasure of stories that we hold. When we share our stories with each other, we build a strong connection. Story telling is a powerful tool that leaders can use to build connection with others and between others in their community. Here is how storytelling helps us to connect:
Storytelling Connects Our Minds
When people tell stories from their lives, you learn information about them. You learn about their personalities, backgrounds, and their values. If I told you about my grandmother who had the fine china tea cup, you would learn that visiting her home was like visiting a museum. As a child, you were told not to touch anything. Relationships were distant. You might also gain an understanding of how I can be cautious in my relationships to not be a burden to other people.
Stories provide a map of mental information so that you can better understand people. This is of tremendous value as team members. It is a step towards greater understanding of each other. How will you prompt storytelling with others in your community or team?
Storytelling Connects Our Hearts
My husband does not cry often, but he will cry while watching the movie, “Hoosiers.” This movie is about a small town Indiana basketball team that goes on to win the state title. The individual stories of each of the basketball players, the coach and the town make up the larger story. My husband has an emotional response to the story because it connects to his story of growing up in a small Indiana town. When my husband mentions this movie to other people who have seen it, I often can see in their faces an emotional response to my husband because of a shared connection to that movie.
Stories connect us to sharing our hearts. This is a deeper level of vulnerability, and because of this, I find that people may shy away from sharing their stories. But, connecting at the heart is worth the risk and value of building empathy. When people feel understood emotionally, a deeper connection is made. Will you have the courage to connect to the emotional side of storytelling?
Storytelling Connects Our Wills
As you gain greater understanding of each other and connect emotionally with empathy, you will find that people are more open with their “wills” with each other. Trust begins to happen. Instead of trying to protect their turf, they begin to listen better and become more open to the opinion of others. This allows for open dialogue, debate, healthy conflict, creativity and discernment. Dedication and commitment increase. Team members move from “I” to “We.” The sharing of each individual’s stories allows the team to connect more deeply to form their own shared story.
How will you promote storytelling? Start by being more open to sharing your own story. Also, make room for storytelling so that you can prompt others to share their stories and then listen well!