“The greatest discovery of the 20th century is the fact that a human being has the ability to change his attitude.” – William James
Are you struggling with someone who has a poor attitude? It could be a coworker, a family member or a community member. I have recently been in discussions about attitudes with a leader in her workplace. I also know the reality of poor attitudes as I work through them with my family and within myself!
Poor attitudes cause increased stress, distraction and poor productivity. So, how do we overcome poor attitudes? The answer is found in defining and then living a shared picture of a healthy culture. Here are three practices that will help you to overcome poor attitudes.
Know Your Core Values
Core values create a shared picture of what a healthy workplace, family or community looks like. For example, let’s say that you have a core value of honesty in your organization. If a team member is engaging in lies, it then makes it very clear that this is not acceptable. It does not match the shared picture of success. Since the value is the clearly defined expectation, it paves a clear road to providing accountability in alignment to that value.
Poor attitudes can also seem nebulous at times. Core values help to bring clarity and discern the root problem of the poor attitude. Dena is a leader who continually faces her team being hampered by a member who has a poor attitude whenever change occurs. One of their core values is excellent service. Their picture of success includes serving their customers and each other as a team well. Since Dena has clarity that service is a priority, it helps her to discern where a poor attitude is causing a problem and therefore where accountability is needed.
Confront Behaviors Stemming from Poor Attitudes
You may know that an attitude change is needed. But, if you tell someone they need to change their attitude, what does this really mean? You also need to tie specific behaviors that stem from the attitude and that therefore are unacceptable in your culture. By discussing these behaviors, you define what are indicators of the attitude and then can define if attitude change is happening.
Dena knows that her team member’s attitude is impacting their value of service. This shows up in behaviors where the person complains to other staff members, which keeps the staff from their work with customers. Dena notes how specific comments from this person belittles staff members during team meetings, which shuts down discussions on how to serve customers better. Dena now needs to meet with the team member about the concerns.
Set Accountability for the Relational Impact of Poor Attitudes
Poor attitudes have a caustic impact that goes beyond just the negative act of a behavior. The cancer of poor attitudes is how they create relational messes, especially within the team. This can destroy a healthy culture. When confronting a person with a poor attitude, you also need to hold them accountable to owning and cleaning up the relational impact of their poor attitude. Also, when you have a clear shared definition of a healthy culture based on shared values, you need to encourage team members to also hold each other accountable.
When Dena met with her team member with the poor attitude, she first listened. She heard how the person was also going through other difficult circumstances in her life. Dena empathized, but also made clear that our own stresses are not an excuse for behaviors that hurt relationships. She helped the team member to see how her behaviors were hurting others. This team member decided to apologize to others for her complaining and belittling comments. The team also decided that when any of them came into a meeting with a poor attitude that was bringing down the energy of the group, they would ask that person to make a choice to refocus their attitude or leave the meeting until they felt they could be in a good place.
Sometimes people will change their attitudes. Other times, they will not. You must keep holding people accountable to the shared culture and values. If change does not happen over a defined period of time, it may be a clear indicator that the person does not hold the same shared values or is not a fit for your culture.
Addressing poor attitudes takes a lot of dedicated effort and discernment. But, it is well worth the creation and maintenance of a high functioning, healthy culture.