Do you see yourself as powerful? How you answer this question will probably depend upon how you define power. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines power as possession of control, authority or influence over others. Even in this definition we can see a continuum in how power is used. Often when people try to control, it can lead to behaviors of dominance and brute force to make someone do what we want. On the other side is influence which often uses emotional intelligence principles to motivate others to choose to join in our direction.
Unfortunately, we often get exposed to leadership that is authority based on control. It is a predatory view of power that believes in the survival of the fittest. To win, you have to dominate. However, there can be another form of power that can be more effective, and well-known leaders in history have demonstrated its impact. This type of power is called “nonpredatory power,” and Linda Kohanov in her book, The Power of the Herd, documents and explains this type of power.
What is Nonpredatory Power?
Nonpredatory power is the ability to lead through emotional and social intelligence. In her study of this type of power in nature with animals and in leaders, Kohanov has developed 12 guiding principles. Each of these principles is rich with wisdom on how to lead through influence. However, I also found that her description of key behaviors of some social innovators was enlightening on how this power can be defined:
- Resist the flight-or-fight impulse in favor of tend-and-befriend behavior;
- Emphasize mutual aid over competition for limited resources;
- Develop the high tolerance for vulnerability needed to endure fear and pain as well as risk love and connection; and
- Recognize that the individual psyche matures in deep relationship with others, most especially through the consistent, freely given support of others.
I had a leader recently describe to me an experience of how power was modeled to him by two different supervisors. He knew his team was struggling to get to targeted results and explained to his supervisor where they were not hitting targets. The supervisor was quick to point out all that was wrong and use fear of failure as a reason to motivate change. This current supervisor was leaving for another position and the next day he was to meet his new supervisor. He went into the meeting with the new supervisor only seeing his failures. As he sat expecting the new supervisor to point out all he was doing wrong, the new supervisor asked him to share where he was making progress. This supervisor emphasized his small wins. He left this meeting with a new level of energy. Through the model of this supervisor’s leadership, this person has grown to become a leader of thousands.
How Do You Develop Nonpredatory Power?
Developing this type of power is a process and a journey. There is much you can glean from Kohanov’s guiding principles and from others who provide resources in developing emotional and social intelligence. I am finding, though, that growing in this type of power is as much about awareness as it is about having a plan. It is when we face challenges and crucible moments in our lives as leaders that this type of power is learned and honed. It is learned through seeking how to be these skills in the moments of experience and not just from enacting a formula of developed skills.
Kohanov describes how her insights were gained from training a horse, an explosive black stallion. Typical horse dominance training was not working and learning how to relate at a level of nonpredatory power changed the horse but also changed her. The leader described above learned through experiences of leadership modeled to him and the path of ongoing reflection in his own leadership. Currently, I am learning more through a challenging relationship with another person who is like an explosive stallion. She can cause me pain and yet there is so much potential in that person that the relationship is worth the pursuit. And in the process, I am recognizing that my leadership character is being grown that will multiply in new ways.
So, are you powerful? Yes, you are! Are you facing a challenge where your typical ways of leading are not working? Are you going to just make it happen? Or are you going to stop and ask, “Is there another way to be more powerful than you could imagine?”