Do you want more joy in your life? One of the outcomes I am working on personally for my life this year is to intentionally feel joy. We want to have positive feelings in our lives. We know the good things that come from positive feelings such as better overall health and well-being. It seems that it should be so simple and that positive feelings should just be natural and flow in us. Yet, here I am, needing to set an outcome in my life to intentionally feel joy.
I also know that I am not alone. As I talk with many leaders, I often hear this same desire in their lives. Just the other day, I had a leader describe how better his whole day went because he purposely came into the day being more positive. It impacted him for the better but also overflowed to impact coworkers. It led to greater clarity, productivity, and morale. So, how do we cultivate the power of more joy and the positive in our lives?
Recognize Our Negativity Bias
First, we need to recognize that our minds have a propensity to focus more on the negative than the positive. In their book, The Power of the Bad: How the Negativity Effect Rules Us and How We Can Rule It, Roy Baumeister and John Tierney share about social psychology research regarding our negativity bias. This tendency within people seems to be true everywhere.
So, instead of wondering why joy is not coming more naturally, we need to see reality. Our tendency is to not go towards joy, and you are not alone. We tend to naturally focus more on the negative.
You Choose Your Mind’s Destiny
However, just because our minds have a bias, this does not mean it is our destiny. We can choose to think and focus on other things. You can choose to see hope in your coming day or see possibilities instead of problems.
Feeding our minds on the positive is one way to help. Choose to not watch negative news outlets. Choose to see a positive intention instead of a negative intention with someone’s behavior. For example, if a person critiques your presentation, see them as being caring and trying to help rather than trying to tear you down or hurt you. Take moments to be thankful throughout your day. You can even keep a gratitude journal. What ideas do you have to be more joyful and positive?
There are many ways we can do this. You just need to be intentional and build new habits. Remember, your mind’s bias is to go to the negative, so do not be surprised that it takes intention and dedication. But I think it is worth it!
Decreasing the Negativity Bias with Others
Remember that others are also prone to a negativity bias. So, be intentional to help them be more positive. Be happy, give compliments, and talk about the good.
Along with focusing on good behaviors with others, we also need to eliminate our negative tendencies with others too. Do you struggle with anger, such as lashing out? Maybe you tend to have a sharp manner that is sarcastic? Or maybe you procrastinate on projects that bring stress to others? We all have our positive and negative characteristics. But to have the biggest impact on our relationships with others, first work to eliminate your bad interactions with them.
Social science shows that if you do one bad thing, you need a ratio of 5 good things to overcome it and build into the relationship with the other person. It can seem “unfair,” but we all have this negative bias. So, let us all work to help each other.
Will you join me in intentionally feeling joy? One of the action steps I am taking is to notice during my day when I do feel positive and to soak in that moment of joy. Also, to express gratitude. I am prone to soak in the negative, and instead I want to soak in the positive and increase my joy. Let me know what steps you take to increase the positive for you.